Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Our last day and the sad goodbye.

Early start with breakfast and lots of doctor visitors, one for me, one for Carter, one for my breasts since Carter lost more than 10% fat in the hospital... it was a busy day!

Carter's doctor came in and looked at him and said he looked great but that he lost about a pound while there. That was a surprise considering he stayed latched the whole time. It turns out he was getting more excersize sucking than he was eating. Believe it or not but their cure for his weightloss was to let him feed even more? How do I do that? Take him to the bathroom with me too? That was pretty much the only time he wasn't on there. Anyway, they wanted me to talk to the lacation consultant before I left, so we scheduled it right before check out.

Meanwhile, I got my midwife visit. I hadn't met this one before, she was nice and said everything looked okay, even tho my legs by now were so swollen, I didn't even recognize them. I swear my ankles looked like thighs and my feet looked like flesh colored slippers. It was scary to me, but the midwife said it was normal and would go down in a few days to weeks. I still had the rash covering my stomach and it was getting worse. She said it was just a sensitivity and it would go away too. She wrote me a perscription for pain meds and told me to make my 2 week appt. As soon as I get home. Oh, and she told me that I should really try the tub down the hall. Then she left.

I also saw an exit nurse, she went over all the paperwork with me and put together the packet and asked if id like her to start the bath because it would take about 10 mins to fill up. I told her to wait and start it at 10am.

I wanted to get everything ready to go first. After she left, I gave Carter to Robert and began cleaning up and packing, against orders ofcourse.
You aren't supposed to do that kind of stuff right after birth, especially when you can barely move but I knew it would take Robert a million years to do it and he'd forget things and not pack it right and it would just be more frustrating in the end. So, I did it! I packed up everything! All the extra disposible panties, all the paper mats, the cold pack pads, the diapers, the wipes, the nasal bulb and mouth bulb, everything. I wanted my stay at home to be exactly like the hospital. I even packed the 2 receiving blankets they had (thankgod for those, they were all that fit him and still use them 4 months later!) After I had everything all packed the nurse came in with another pack of diapers and wipes, I was smart. I didn't say a word about already packing a pack of them. I ended up using all the pampers from the hospital for myself as you will read in the recovery time.

I so did not want to leave the hospital. It was a perfect set up. All meals in bed, a nurse at my beck and call whenever I needed anything, a bathroom 2 steps from my bed, pain meds delivered to me, the best ice in the world, no laundry to do, no cleaning to do. It was a dream come true. All I had to focus on was feeding my son. Robert did all the changing in the hospital. What more could I ask for. I don't know why people are in such a rush to get out of the hospital. It truely is a vacation. I had the most wonderful nurses and CNAs a girl could ask for. For a few days I got to see what it was like to be royalty.

Time for the bath, as I walked down the hall towards the door, I was not amused. I thought I was going to walk into a regular deep narrow jetted tub. I walked through the door and much to my surprise!!!!!! It was a huge jetted tub that had steps going down into it! I was inlove! I wished I had gotten in that bath every day. I was so sad I didn't. It was amazing! There was litterally room for 2 or 3 people in there. I didn't want to get out. Lounged in it for about an hour and talked with Robert, who was sitting beside the bath with me. We took Carter to the nursery so that he could go with me, because I never do anything alone, I'm a baby like that. After I got out and as soon as we got to the room, I didn't even have time to change before the nurse was back with Carter, once again, he cried the whole time he was in the nursery and there were other babies trying to sleep. I got changed as quick as I could and went back to letting him feed again.

The Nursing Consultant came in while I was ofcourse feeding and when she saw how good of a latcher he was, she just told me to keep it up. There wasn't much else for her to say, he didn't need help at all but he was never satisfied it seemed. She left and now it was time for us to go. The dreaded hour! Robert went down and got the carseat and brought it up so that we could get him all buckled in and adjusted. The nurse got my wheel chair and helped carry our bags since I brought the house with us, lol.

All loaded up in the car and on our way back to reality.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

My incredible stay at Salem Hospital after the birth of my beautiful baby boy.

3:02 am Carter Lynlee made his debut in our world. After everyone left, we got to have our skin to skin and breastfeeding time before getting up to go to our recovery room. My little man was an absolute pro. He latched right on and went to town. My nurse brought me a snack pack to munch on (sandwich, jello and fruit cup) while I was nursing because she knew I just had to be starving after that super long labor. It was 13hrs of hard labor with 3hrs of pushing. After Carter was done nursing and I regained feeling everywhere from my epidural, it was time to pee. The nurse told me that if I couldn't pee that she would have to put a catheter back in because of something to do with labor and delivery causing the body to forget how to pee, not to mention one of my tears went through my urethra. I got up to go and I was a bit dizzy but I didn't tell the nurse because if I had I would have had to wait a bit longer before going to my recovery room and I was dying for some sleep. We finally made it up to the 4th floor and the nurse and Robert (husband) and I were talking about my labor and the nurse just starts laughing. I asked what she thought of to make her laugh and she said that my mom was just so funny and that she couldn't believe she wiped my face with a pit rag. All 3 of us were laughing at that point. she hadn't had a delivery as funny as mine before. We got to our room and met our other nurse for the day. She went over everything with us and she asked the magic question....

"Dad, would you like to come and do first bath and shots, so mom can get some sleep?" Music to my ears!!! At about 7am Robert, Carter and the nurse left to take care of all that stuff and I fell right to sleep. I got about an hour of sleep before my baby was back to eat again. Carter would not sleep in the bassinet thing and wanted to eat non-stop, so he stayed in my arms the rest of the day and I dosed off here and there sitting straight up. Robert knocked out and wouldn't wake up for anything! Since I had Carter in my arms and had severe swelling and pain from my tares I couldn't get up out of bed and I couldn't reach Robert, so when I needed him to wake up I had to find things to throw at him until he woke bcause no matter how loud I yelled he wouldn't wake up and his snoring drownded out my voice. Thankfully, the nurses came in every couple hours to bring me new water and more meds and really just whatever I needed.

So, everyone says that hospital food is the worst. They obviously haven't eaten at Salem Hospital. The have a restaraunt instead of a traditional cafeteria and omg! It is so good!! For breakfast the first day or every day actually I ordered scrambled eggs with cheese, hashbrowns with ketchup, sausage links and 2 milks. So yummy! The hospital gave Robert a $20 gift card for his food while we were there. Eating was a bit of a chore considering I had a baby who wasn't leaving my arms. I took a boppy with me but it became an extra pillow for me and I used the arm cushions from the couch bed and a pillow on top of each on the sides of me to lay Carter on in the football hold for feeding and I had a pillow across the front of my lap for cradling Carter. I ended up never using my boppy pillow. I don't like it. It is made for people with short torsos I think because Carter was nowhere near high enough laying on the boppy to nurse.

Lunch time rolls around on day one and Robert finally wakes and my parents come back to visit. I orded a french dip, fries, iced tea and a milk again. This time it was easy to eat! Carter was being passed around, so I finally got up to go pee. I was supposed to do so like 6 hours prior. And at this point I was also supposed to have gotten up to walk around and I hadn't. Walking and going pee was the worst! Every time I got up to go pee from here out I would call the nurse for a new ice diaper. Ice diapers are the best invention ever! I don't know how I would have made it with out them. It is a pampers diaper cut and filled with ice that you wear like a pad and if you have tares it numbs them and makes walking, sitting possible. My parents left right before dinner time and I ordered the same thing as lunch and ate what I could. My nurse came back in to take out my IV. I had one because I had spiked a fever durning delivery and I hemoraged and lost over 600ml of blood. My hemoglobin had dropped to a 7. So I needed iv antibiotics to ward off infection. From the fever, I broke out in a heat rash that cover my entire stomach. It was horrible. It itched so bad and at this point I didn't know it was heat rash but none of the doctors or nurses seemed to worry about it so I just stuck it out.

Bed time now, for everyone but me. It was our first night and by the way the day went, I knew I wasn't getting any sleep. Carter the entire day had gone back and forth from boob to boob and only slept when he was latched. So all night long a passed him from boob to boob as I tried to sleep but couldn't because I was so uncomfortable from sitting in the same position all day. At about 3am my nurse came by and asked me if I wanted her to take him from the nursery so that I could get some sleep. I felt really guilty about passing my baby off to someone else just so I could sleep so I told her to just bring him back in an hour. She did. And she said that he cried the whole time and they all had to just keep passing him around from nurse to nurse to hold because he wouldn't let them put him down. I told her I understood because he hadn't let me put him down yet except for the little bit that my parents were there to hold him. So, needless to say, back to the boob he went.

Everyone from the CNAs to room service to the nurses and doctors saw my boobs! I had absolutely no shame. Carter would unlatch for diaper changes and for me to go to the bathroom and that was about it.

Day 2. I had a really awsome nurse for my second day. She was older and wanted to make sure everything was good with me and Carter. We talked a lot! She was very personable. This day started off with my great breakfast again and a new ice diaper. The doctor came in to see me on this day and it was the horrid midwife. I didn't want to see her. This was my recovery time, she was a set back. She told me that I should go take a sitz bath in the bath down the hall since my room only had a shower. I didn't want to because I figured it was just a jetted tub that I would have to try to sit down into and get back up, so, I opted out. My nurse came back by to tell me about the exit class that we needed to take before checking out. We signed up for the 5pm class. Meanwhile my friends Sharon and Steph came to visit us. That was a fun visit. After they left we had to get ready to go to our exit class.

This was my first time changing clothes since giving birth. I slowly got into the little sun dress type thing I had brought and finally put a bra on for the first time there, what was the point, carter was latched the whole time. But since I was going to be around men that weren't docs or nurses, I figured i'd do the nice thing strap them down. We got out the room door with like a minute to spare but this was my first time walking further than the bathroom door, so it took me like 5 minutes to walk down the hall. We got into the class and I see plastic chairs!

Do you know what plastic chairs mean to a woman with 4 tares in her who-ha? Pain! I had to sit on the side of my thigh and switch back and forth from side to side. All the other women looked so comfortable. Robert held Carter in his lap but kept dosing off. It was so embarrassing. I had the only baby that cried and the only snoring husband that I had to keep nudging to wake up so he wouldn't drop carter. I couldn't wait for the class to be over. The cool thing was tho that we got diaper bags and stuff after the class. I still use that diaper bag. I never bought another one.

We walked around for a little bit before returning to our room where we ordered dinner and I got back into bed and lost the bra again because Carter went back to his resting spot aswell. I finally ordered desert with my dinner. I hadn't yet because I figured I was no longer pregnant and needed to start eating less sweets. Ha, I was so wrong. That was the time I should have spent eating whatever I wanted, it was the last time I was going to restaraunt food served to me in bed for 3 meals plus snacks a day. Next time, I'm going to spend all day eating, just like Carter. My parents came in for a little bit to visit again and give me a little break. Ofcourse they figured I really needed it considering I was at the point where I was falling asleep in mid sentance and even when I was texting or talking on my phone. They all told me that I would be sitting talking away and suddenly my jaw would drop and eyes would close for like a minute and then id wake up talking again. While my parents were there id get like ten minute naps before Carter was ready to eat again. He was so fussy when he wasn't latched, we even got desparate and tried to give him a paci but it didn't work, he didn't want it. Anyway, it was bed time again for everyone but me.

Finish up our last day and the sad goodbye next..

Friday, December 3, 2010

Time to push and meet my little T-Rex!

It was just after midnight and all through the house, not a cre- oh wait wrong story....

It was just after midnight and it was time to start the big time pushing. We rolled me to my back and scooted me up a bit. Then my midwife pulled up the stirups and placed my black feet in them! This was when we noticed I forgot to wash my feet and I had been wearing flip flops that turn your feet black. My mom was so embarrassed. I really didn't care. Its not like they smelled, they were just black from the shoes. I apologized to my midwife anyway for putting dirty feet in her face. She didn't care.

So the feet stir ups, not comfortable. I think I had like 3 pushes using those. My contractions were really painful and the position I was in wasn't helping. She pulled up these other holders that hold your legs at the calves and those were amazing. Just that little change made all the difference in the world. My contractions were bareable, I could push and it was comforting to do so.

Things seemed to be going great. However, I had not only the catheter from they epidural now I had a small one that went in for monitoring my contractions better because I couldn't push with that band around my waist and she attatched the heart monitor to my baby's head, so that I didn't have to wear that band too. So, I was way more comfortable but now I looked like some test project, lol. My mom, my dad and robert took turns helping with the pushing. It was so hot in that room by this point. I was sweating like a pig! By 2 am I was asking for sips of water between every contraction. I had about a minute between pushing and it was strange that I was able to carry on a full conversation about I don't remember but I know it was something good because I can remember laughing a lot.

My mom decided that she needed to get a wet towel and dab me with it because of how over heated I was. That made me even more hot and mad. So now I'm trying to push and dodge this wet towel and carry on talking all at the same time. My mom was going on about something at the same time she was wiping my arms and then my underarms and then with the same towel, my face!! I didn't have deodorant on and so I got a face full of smelly armpit. My mom didn't even realize she did it because she was jabbering on about something and here I lay defenseless as she keeps going over my face and I'm trying to tell her that it stinks. She and everyone else finally heard me and it became the joke of the night! Everyone laughed so hard that couldn't help but laugh too but then I was forced to lay with smelly pit face for the rest of my labor.

The mood is light and my eyes were focused on the contraction monitor. I was amazed that my contractions were now going off the charts and yet I could handle them better than the half mass ones I had been having before I started pushing. It was crazy. Anyway, I kept pushing and pushing. I could see his head in the mirror and that became my focal point when I wasn't watching the contractions.

Finally after about 3 hours of pushing, my son's heart rate was hiting up over 200. He was starting to get tired. We needed to discuss options for getting him out quick and safe. My midwife said we could either use forceps or go for an emergency c-section. At this point, I didn't care either way. I prefered forceps but when it comes down to it, I wanted whatever was going to get him out safely. The doctor on staff that night specialized in forceps and so we decided one more push and if he came down far enough for the forceps we were going that route, if not we were going c-section. The nurse called for the doctor and called nicu for all the nicu nurses to come aswell.

When I was 5 cm, my mw broke my water and there was meconium in the water (he'd gone to the bathroom) this meant that when he came out we didn't want him to breath right away. They needed to suction everything out of him before. This was the reason for all the nurses. Plus, there was one to push on my stomach if needed to help get baby out.

Everyone was there and the doctor was srubbing in and my midwife told me to push my hardest. I did! I pushed like my baby's life depended on it. Amazingly, he came right down to wear he needed to be for the forceps. I was so happy and relieved. My mw and the doc switched places, my mom pulled up a seat right beside the doc and my husband stood at my head, my dad next to my mom and I had 2 nurses on one side, one nurse on a step stool on the other side, one by the baby station and one by the doctor. The doctor put a bucket on the floor between her legs which was something I didn't remember happening with my sisters pregnancy, so, I paid close attention to what that was for.

Everyone was set and ready to go. 1,2,3 puuuussssshhhhh! I feel him come out and I hear this blood curdling scream come from my mom. I litterally thought I died on the table and was having some out of body thing for about a second and a half and then she started crying and saying she was sorry, there was just so much blood and she'd never seen childbirth before. Next thing I know, its just me and the doc and everyone is over with my baby. I was trying to listen for him but I knew it'd be a minute because they were suctioning him. I finally heard him cry. Everyone was talking about how big he is and I've yet to see him. One nurse came over to be with me while the doctor was stiching me up. I had torn in 4 places! One inside down the back, one outside down the back and two outside up the front. I also had metal burn from the forceps. I remember telling the nurse over and over again, "It burns, It burns." She kept telling me, "I know, that's what happens with forceps. I'm sorry"

Everyone got to hold and take pictures with my Little Baby Carter LynLee before he finally got to come to me. Once I got him, nurses were taking pics of us, my mw was taking pics and my parents. I was just happy to finally have him in my arms. We haddent weighed him yet because everyone wanted to be there for the weigh in and all the nurses and doctors had to go out for a quick meeting and were coming back for the weigh in. They were taking bets! It was funny. Everyone came back and my lil man weighed in at 9lb 11 and 1/2oz! And 21in long with a 39cm head! I can't remember which nurse won but she was right on the money.

My wonderful sleepless stay in the most amazing birthing center in the world is coming next!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Labor day! The day before the big push!

5am: Rise and shine, valentine!
We began the day with a blood drawing and a shower. I was having contractions at this point about every five minutes,so, taking a shower on my own was impossible. Robert went down for breakfast and my mom helped me get a shower-bath. Have you ever had a shower-bath? It goes a little something like this.

I really wanted to take a bath in that deep jetted bath. I ran the water, got in and sat down into the tub. However, when your as big as I was, the tub seemed a lot bigger from the outside looking in. Lol. I just barely fit and washing and contracting wasn't quite working,so, I tried to switch to a shower, only standing was just as painfull so I ended up on my knees with my mom washing my hair at the same time I was trying to wash my body. I got everything but my feet, so we found out later. Lol.

I got out, got dried and made it back to my comfy bed. My favorite midwife of all came through the doors! "Yay" I was so happy to see her! She told me that my iron levels were up to 12.5! That was awsome news considering I had gotten it up all on my own, doing it my own way. How did I do it, you wonder? I stopped taking my anti-acids and took my prenatal plus 2 gummy vite c's and one iron tab in the morning and at night minus the prenatal, every day and in just 2 weeks I went from a 9 to a 12.5! How awsome am I! I wanted the mean midwife to see my chart so badly so I could rub it in her face that just because I don't have a masters in nursing doesn't mean I'm a complete idiot.

Anyway, this was the big moment, she was going to check me to see if the cervidil had worked. We were all crossing our fingers. She checked and said," it worked! Your 2cm dialated and about 80% effaced and at -3 station." This meant I was going to be induced! She told the nurse to start my pitocin at the lowest level.

At 7am we began the pitocin and almost imediately my contractions got stronger. Not so strong that I couldn't handle it. My mom called my dad and told him that we started the pitocin and that it was going to be a few hours before things were going to get going. He came and got her to go eat and do some shopping and what not. Robert and I watched tv and talked with my nurse when we saw her, which was about every 20mins or so.

At around 9am my contractions started to feel different, painfull but more like constipated pain. My midwafe came in to check me and I discribed to her what was going on and when she checked me said that she could feel that I was constipated and it was applying pressure on my uterus. I was 3cm dialated at this point. She aske what I had eaten for my dinner. When I told her pizza, she replied with,"oh, cheese. That'll do it." When you go in to labor your bowels begin to work differently and your digestive system slows way down. She offered me an enema or to up my pitocin and basically contract it down. Id never had an enema and so I opted for the pitocin, for ten minutes. Lol. That was all I could take. I had the nurse get her back to give me the enema. She asked if I wanted to give it to myself. "Yeah right. Id probably end up shooting that thing in the wrong direction or something." My contractions were quite painful and I had no idea how I was going to get from the bed to the bathroom in time because they tell you to stay laying down until you feel a great amount of pressure. Luckly I made it just fine but having contractions and trying to go to the bathroom and hold all your wires and tubes that you have hanging everywhere plus getting the toilet paper off the roll. Yeah not fun or easy at all. And its not like I was going to ask for help. I mean I was already mortified enough that I had to have the enema in the first place. I finally made it back to the bed.

I was ready for some pain meds for sure! The nurse went to get the order for it and came back with a shot of the one that starts with an f. I can't remember the full name of it. I was so happy to see it! She put it into my I.V and it kicked in so quick. I couldn't feel a single contraction and felt good enough to fall asleep. I dosed off for a while and when I woke my parents were back. I started to feel my contractions coming back,so, I asked the nurse if it was supposed to wear off like that. She said it had been a few hours, so, yes. She said I could have it every hour if I wanted it. I said, "sure, why not." That was making labor a breeze! She gave me my next dose and my midwife came in to check me again after about a half hour. She said I was still at 3cm but when I get to 4cm, I could have my epidural. Epidurals should not be given before 4cm because you run a risk of the epidural stopping your contractions.

For the next few hours we just all hungout and talked with the nurse about where she grew up, where we were from and what not. At about 3pm I got my 3rd dose of pain medication and I was checked again, I was finally at 3 and a 1/2cm. Lol. At this point the pain meds aren't really working on my contractions much but it was still calming between the contractions. Somewhere around 4:30pm, I was checked again! I was at 4cm! I didn't ask of my epidural right away. The nurse asked me what id like and I said id try one more dose of the pain medicine. I wanted to get at least to 6cm to guarentee that my labor wouldn't stop. Well, I didn't make it to 6cm, I made it til almost 6pm though. I tried to eat some jello and when I threw that up after one bite, I knew it was time for my epidural. I wasn't in screaming pain but enough that I was clenching pretty good and I knew if I'd waited longer, I wouldn't be able to sit still for it. I told the nurse she may aswell order it. The doctor came in, it was a man. How embarrassing. He was going to see my butt crack, while I was awake to know about it! I decided i'd just play it as professional as possible.

My parents had to leave the room because it was a sterile proceedure and my dad couldn't handle the needle anyway. I sat in the bed and hung my feet off the side. I had to lean over the bed table with a pillow on top and hold Robert's hand and my nurse's hand. We were all talking about being from Bakersfield,Ca. The Doctor had family in Delano, Ca and used to drive down there every summer as a kid to visit. He was talking about how it was the worst trip ever, every year because they would drive down in a VW bus with no A/C. Lol I totally knew what he was talking about. If you are from the area or have ever been in the summer, you know too. Lol. Anyway, he was really personable and took my mind off the fact that he was sticking this needle in my back 5 times! He explained that the normal area for an epidural to go wouldn't work in my back, my spine was too thin. He ended up about 6 inches lower than the normal place. I didn't know what that meant and wasn't concerned with it as long as it worked. I did however want to know what was going to happen if I had to have a C-section. The way he explained it was that the meds that is in my epidural at the moment is like beer and if I have a c-section, he would replace it with wiskey. That was a pretty good referance, which I figured out later.

My parents finally got to come back, they were freaking out a bit at how long it took. They thought something happend. Right about this time, everything started to go numb. I was feeling great and updated my facebook about it, as I had been doing throughout the whole day so far. Things were great for the next hour and the nurse noticed that my contractions had started to slow, tramendously. She was ordered to kick up my pitocin to almost the max and raise it more every half hour. When she did all ice broke.

My epidural couldn't even touch the pain I was now experiencing. My abdomin was still numb, along with my legs but I was experiencing the worst pain of my life in my vaginal and rectum region. The pain was so bad that the only thing I could do when I had a contraction was grip the rail and shake and chatter my teeth. My midwife came in and we kept trying different positions, laying on one side and switching to the other, my contractions were only at half mass. We weren't even toping the charts yet. I went through this for a while because I couldn't have anymore pain medication yet at the risk of my contractions stopping again. The pain was litterally like trying to pass a bowling ball. I thought was just going to split open at the bottom and my was just going to fall out. Appearently most women don't feel what I was feeling. Usually women feel a pressure there but I was feeling pain, lots and lots of pain. At almost midnight my midwife checked me and said I was 10cm dialated but that he was still sitting up a little high. She said I needed to labor down a bit and she went to get the doctor to give me the wiskey for my epidural!!! She said that she wanted me to be comfortable while pushing. He came in and gave me my wiskey. He said it will hopefully take the edge off but that since it was so low in my back, he couldn't be sure that it would completely numb the pain I was experiencing. I didn't care as long as it took some of it away. At this point there was no way I could push. I was in the kind of pain, that it hurts so bad that I don't want to push.

After about 10mins on the wiskey, I felt like I needed to push. My midwife said it was okay to lightly push but she left the room and the nurse came in and didn't know that she had told me it was okay. So, she told me to try not to push. I was so pushing. I was doing the pull bar method that a girl in school had told me about for going to the bathroom. You put both hands in the air and slowly clinch and pull down on the imaginary bar, while letting your air out and pushing at the same time in the same slow motion. It makes you concentrate more and it really works! I was doing that while my nurse went to get my midwife, by the time she got back, he was down far enough to start pushing harder.

12pm, time to push! And the joy and burn that followed!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Labor, delivery and Walerey's pizza!

And it began with the Green Mile dinner...

It was to be my last dinner until Saturday. This was Thursday. The doctor told me to make it a good one. So, I told my parents it was going to be either Los Dos Amigos or Walerey's Pizza. We decided on Walerey's. Robert was at work and wasn't getting off til 7pm and I had to check in at the hospital at 6pm.

My parents and I went to eat my last dinner. It was sooo good, as always! We had to rush through dinner because I only had 30 mins til check in. We left dinner and headed for the hospital.

My parents had no idea where the birthing center at the hospital was, as I figured out when we ended up in a parking garage on the other side. I was trying to explain it to my dad but with me my mom, all my stuff and 4 dogs in the truck, it was a lost cause. Luckly, there was a construction worker working on the garage we were in and my dad asked him where to go. Appearently guys understand other guys better. We finally ended up in the right parkinglot with 5 mins left to get to the right floor and to the check in counter. That sounds so funny to say. I was checking in to have a baby.

We made it up to the floor and as I was filling out the paperwork, the receptionist asked if I was planning to circumsize my son. I answered, "no" like it was just another question and my mother about had a stroke. "What? Your not going to? You have too!" I tried explaining to her that there was no medical need to and I just didn't want to. To give her an example of someone who wasn't, I used my nephew, only the receptionist thought I was talking about my husband and said, "well, I didn't need to know that much." I laughed and told her it was just my nephew. I used my nephew as an example for that reason. People feel more comfortable knowing information like that about children vs about adults. After we finished the paperwork and went to sit and wait to get let into the labor and delivery ward, I finished telling my mom why I wasn't getting him circumsized. My husband isn't and I have many friends who's husbands and boyfriends aren't and that it just doesn't seem unnormal to me. My dad's thought on it was to just let the baby decide, lol. That was when I learned that my dad wasn't either, something my mother didn't need to share with me but did. Finally, the akward conversation ended when the nurse came out to get us.

We went through the doors of no return and to the whale scale! It litterally is a whale scale. It was like a 3'x3' scale! I looked at it and said to the nurse, "oh great, here we go." She was nice and said, "well, here. We'll give you a nice number." And switched it to kg! It was my first nice weight in and my last as a pregnant woman, so, my mother took a picture of me on it and sent it out to the world in one text! I was back to,"Oh great, here we go." Only this time the nurse couldn't just push a button to make that nice.

We got to my room, where my parents drilled the nurses with questions about everything! I was just worried about unpacking and getting to that nice big bed to sit! One of the midwives came in. One I like. My parents then drilled her ofcourse. I mean the last time they were in having a baby was when I was born and that was a C-section. So, they were litterally green to the whole process. It was embarrassing but whatever, I didn't care. I was too excited. It was like going on vacation to me. I love being in the hospital. At least that hospital! I got all unpacked and into bed. I brought everything but the kitchen sink. This was my first baby after all.

The room was so big and comfy. It had a sitting room with a couch, chair and rocking chair. There was also a t.v, and the bathroom had a spa tub! There wasn't a kitchenette but down the hall was a community kitchen with lots of goodies. Ofcourse, kitchen or no kitchen it wasn't for me anyway. It was for my guests because I wasn't getting to eat anything!

7pm comes and my midwife is ready to insert the cervidil strip. This is a strip that kind of looks like a paper zip tie, and is placed inside up to the cervix opening and stick out the bottom for adusting. This can not come out, so, minimal movement once in is best. It is inserted to help rippen the cervix and start dialation.

When my midwife came in to insert the strip, she had some bad new to go with it. She told me that the hospital doctor on staff was mad that I was being induced, that he thinks inducing for a babies size is uncalled for and that I could go another week. I was scared that she was going to send me home right then. I wanted to cry. Here I was carrying a possible 10 lb or more baby with a family history of c-sections due to large babies not passing through the pelvis and I was facing having to wait a whole nother week. My parents were so mad. But, there was some light at the end of the tunnel. She told me that he was allowing us to try one dose of cervidil. If it didn't work in the 12 hrs it was supposed to, I would be sent home to wait another week. I was relieved again. She inserted the strip and told me to go to sleep and rest because hopefully I wouldn't be resting the next day.

9pm- My husband finally shows up. My parents were ready to get the dogs home so the could stretch and get some food and water. I let them leave. We were ready for bed but we tried to stay up and watch "The Crazies" that I told Robert to rent on his way to the hospital. I couldn't pay attention to the T.V. to save my life. I was too excited and too busy updating my facebook about what was going on. We eventually fell asleep.

The next day.... the begining of labor and all the gross details!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Pregnancy: what does anemia, 10 lb ultrasound, dietitian equal? This...

Take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back to week 28.

When I had my second one hour diabetes test done, they also checked my hemoglobin aka iron levels. They came back at a 10. The minimum that doctors want to see for a pregnant woman is a 12. So, I had a midwife appt. To go over my test results.

At the midwife practice I used, there is five midwives. One I absolutely love and adore, one who is awsome aswell, two okay nutral ones and one that I hope to never get again.

Starting with this appt. I had her for 3 appts., that's a lot of time without another opinion in pregnancy time. My husband and I show up to our appt. And in she walks. I could tell just by looking at her that we were going to clash. She had that typical "know it all, I never had a life outside of my books" look. I sucked it up and figured Id try to listen. Maybe she wasn't as horrid as I thought. Nope! I was right the first time.

She looked at my chart, saw that my iron was low and that I had a history of large babies in my family. This was her advice to me: drink juice with my iron pills and go see a diebetes dietitian to keep the size of my baby down. I tried explaning to her that A: I don't drink juice because it is nothing but lost calories and pure unwanted/needed sugar and B: everyone in my family has been on the diebetic diet at one point or another and that I already knew all the ins and outs of it. She proceeded to argue with me over it and pretty much told me that I didn't know what I was talking about, that I couldn't know what I was talking about and that she was scheduling my appt. With the dietitian for the same day at 3pm. I was so mad. I just shut my mouth so we could get on with the appt. And I could leave.

She measured my belly and I asked her how far ahead I was measuring because I had been doing my own measuring at home and got four weeks. She wouldn't tell me. She looked at me and said, "we don't worry about what you measure, we just make sure you are growing and your going to measure big anyway." "What, are you serious. You did not just basically call me a big effing cow, prior to pregnancy!" I thought to myself. I was so ready to leave.

Later that day at the dietitian appt. The dietitian agreed with everything i'd said and looked at the fact that I had only gaind 10 lbs at this point and asked me why the midwife even thought to send me to her. I told it was because she was an idiot and didn't list to a word I said. So, we spent the rest of our meeting talking about the weather and comparing the different foods we like to eat.

At 32 weeks I went back for another Hemoglobin test. The next day, I got a call from guess who, the wicked witch of the east. She told me my iron was now down to a 9 and once again argued with me about drinking juice with my pill. I told her that the dietition had told me to not drink any juice at all, ever and she finally shut up about it but then she told me, "well, were not checking it again before you deliver,so, well just have to hope for the best." I hung up the phone. I wasn't listening to another word. I called the office and had my next appt. Changed to another midwife.

At 37weeks, I went in for a regular appt. This time we had a midwife that I haddnt met yet. We talked for a bit about the big babies in my family and then she measured my belly. As soon as she was done, she looked at me and asked," When was your last ultrasound?" With a shocked look on her face. I told her I haddnt had one since my gender scan at 19weeks. She told me that she couldn't believe I hadn't had another one. That I was measuring way ahead. I told her about the other midwife and she said, "that explains it." She scheduled me for another one.

At 38 weeks, we had our ultrasound. The guy performing it measure every body part, 4 times because he couldn't believe what he was seeing. A 10 pound baby!! I was flipping out. I still had 2 more weeks to go. I figured at this point its probably going to be for sure a c-section. I called the office the next day and asked if I needed to come in to discuss delivery options because of how big he was. The lady told me it was probably way off and I was going to have a 6 pound baby, not to worry about it. Bull!

My next appt. Was with my favorite lady of all!!! We discussed the ultrasound and I asked her if I could be induced, she knodded her head and said, "sure, how's friday?" Just like that! Like we were discussing dinner or something. I was speechless. I didn't have to argue or anything. I even replied with, "Are you sure?" And she was. She pulled out her schedule so we could figure out the best day. Sunday was no good, that's when the witch was on call, no way was she delivering me. We settled with Thursday. The day before my due date. She wasn't going to be there but that was only going to be my cervadil night. The big show wasn't going to be til Friday morning and she was going to be there for sure to deliver my little T-Rex! I was now excited, happy and resting assured that I would be okay.

Next, the biggest weekend of my life!!! My labor and delivery story!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Pregnancy: discovery of gerd, ulcers, and a run in with gestational diabetes.

Week 14ish of pregnancy, my body upped the ante.
I began to have the worst acid reflux ever! My throat would burn all night and there was no amount of lemon juice, milk or maloaxx that was going to solve it. I asked my doctor what I can do because it was just so bad. My doctor told me to take Zantac 75 and the maloxx. I knew 75 wasn't going to cut it, so, I got the Zantac 150.

The combination of both the Zantac and Maloxx was working great! After the morning/all day sickness ended in the 18th week, I got about 6 weeks of sheer bliss. I had zero swelling through out pregnancy so far and my anti-acids were working like a charm! I was able to eat whatever I wanted and I did! I called my husband every night when he was on his way home from work with a different request. Jack in the box tacos and breakfast sandwiches one night and Mcdonalds nugget meal the next. Every night was a request for something different. My biggest craving was french fries! I craved french fries daily and I gave in every day. After all, I lost 15 lbs that the doctor wanted me to gain back,so, why not give in.

Finally, at 24 weeks, I was supposed to transition from my doctor to the midwives but I didn't take my diabetes test and my doctor couldn't let me switch with out that test because she could lose her license. The horrible sugar drink was a nightmare. It was like drinking a hot otter pop! Then it made me tired and sick. After my gross drink, hour of waiting and 2 blood drawings, I got to go home..... only to come right back 2 days later for a 3hr test! My first one came back high, by 2 points!!!

For the 3hr test they give you even more sugar and stick you 4 times with the needle. So, now that I had given enough blood to be considered a blood drive, I got a good phone call. My glucose was normal. "Thank god." I thought, "I don't have to do that again."

Two weeks go by and I had my first midwives appt. I didn't really know what to expect when we got there. I wish I had known, I would have worn only a bra and panties. They didn't have an a/c in the room they put me in and what I thought was going to be a simple meet and greet 30 min meeting was a forever long 2 hour meet and greet appt. My butt sweated to the seat! I was a whale with a built in heater on the hottest day in spring and there was no a/c. It was miserable. To make matters worse....

My midwife read my chart and saw that I had one high diabetes test and one normal then proceeded to tell me that I needed to go do my 2nd diabetes screen before 28 weeks. I asked if I really had to since my first screen was only 2 weeks prior because I didn't get to take it when I was supposed to. She said I still had to. "Great, just great!" I went for my test at the hospital lab because that is the one my midwives use. I was expecting the worst ofcourse, id already been through this before. I go into the lab, sit in the chair and low and behold, one of my classmates sister walks up and says, "ill be drawing your blood today." It was so strange. I did her daughter's hair and now she's drawing my blood. Anyway, she went to a refrigerator and pulled out the drink. I thought, "what! I could have drank this thing cold before! That's some bull." That drink is a thousand times better cold! Next day, phone rings, "hello, I'm the devil, here to make you take another 3hr test!" Seriously!! I knew it would be that way, high one hour normal three hour. I went to the test and this time she tells me I can't drink the bottle of water I brought with me. I told her I wouldn't but about half way through the test I got thirsty. You can't blame me, I was pregnant. Its part of the deal. So, I snuck into the bathroom to steal a drink from my water bottle. Guess who's in there like she was waiting for me sneak a drink. So much for that idea! After the test, I drank three bottles of water, one for every hour I missed. My midwife called and said all three hours were normal! All 3! At least I didn't have diabetes.

Now, I'm done with stuff, right? Nope. Week 31, husband is at work. Its about 8pm and I feel a horrible pain on top of my belly. It is a dull pain that's not going away. I ran a warm bath, thinking its just a braxton hicks and everything will be fine when I soak a while. The bath didn't help at all. I got out and called Robert at about 9:30 and asked him to leave work early to take me to the hospital. I didn't think it was contractions, I was more concerned that it may be my gull bladder. My dad had his removed and so did my sister. I figured I was next. He got home and we got to the hospital at 11pm. Checked in and I told the guy I didn't think it was pregnancy related.... wrong thing to say. We had to wait 7 hours to finally be admitted. Once we were, the doctors were so sorry that they gave my husband a gift card to the hospital restaraunt to go eat breakfast and then he got to sleep on my hospital bed in the labor and delivery triage room while they took me for an ulrasound. I didn't know he was sleeping though and appearently the nurses didn't either. When they brought me back to the room they opened the door and there a man was spralled out on the triage bed! It was the funniest thing ever! I woke him and sent him back to his chair. He had crawled up there when we left and he said he startled one of the nurses that came in to check the monitor charts. She wasn't expecting a man. Lol. And back to the pain.... my ultrasound came back normal they discovered that I had GERD and a gastric ulcer. On top of the Zantac 150 and Maloxx I was already taking I was perscribed 2 prilosec a day. How fun my life was going to be. I became a walking pharmacy and it doesn't end there.

Coming around the mountain... Anemia, 10 lb ultrasound, the dietition and the midwife from H-E-double hockey sticks!

Friday, November 19, 2010

40 weeks of what else? Pregnancy

Let's just start with weeks 4 - 18.
Starting in week for was the worst sickness of my life! It started in the mornings, as soon as I woke. Id walk into the bathroom and just the smell of the air freshener would make me vomit. I didn't even get a chance to pee or brush my teeth, vomit came first. I've never been good at throwing up, I cry when I do. Its a very embarrassing scene. They say morning sickness is just that, a sickness in the morning. Well, they lie. I was sick all day and it didn't help that I was going to school for hair and that everyone and their mom was in my chair for a bleach weave. Bleach is my specialty and when they came through the door, my chair and my day was always full.

After spending every day elbows deep in bleach with my first pregnancy and that ending in a miscarriage, I knew I needed to refuse bleach and color services if I wanted a safe pregnancy this time around. However, I'm not one to refuse anything that is asked of me,so in the begining I tried wearing 2 masks while coloring/bleaching, but the only thing 2 maskes is good at, is cutting off your air supply. That made me so dizzy. It came down to it. I refused all color services. Until my senior e-vals. I couldn't refuse to do my e-vals.

E-vals started in my 8th week, I believe. I was going to have to do one of every service in one day, including: bleach, color, and a perm. If you've never smelled perm solution, I'll save you the stomach pain... don't smell it. You don't have to pregnant to vomit from the smell of that. So anyway, I made it half way through my day and I was waiting outside for my parents to come to get me for lunch. They were my models for the day and so my dad went to get the truck in the rain while my mom and I waited by the door. I was getting more nauseous by the second but I didn't want to go back inside the school because it was too hot and smelly. My dad finally pulled up with the truck and I ran to it but didn't make it. Breafast came up, right at the doorstep. I got in really quick and we drove, I prayed that no one saw me but I had no such luck. As soon as I got back one of the guys came to me and asked if I was doing okay because they saw me throw up. I was officially mortafied.

Week 9. I woke up in the middle of the night to ofcourse, vomit. It didn't stop there though. I kept vomiting, over and over. I was scared that I had a kidney infection and the next day I was supposed to go for my diabetes test. That wasn't going to happen. I wasn't about to drink a pure hot sugar drink being as sick as I was. So, after spending all day and night as a sitting vomiting zombie, I went to the doctors office. I told the new girl at the front desk that I couldn't take my test but that I still needed to see my doctor because of non stop vomiting. My doctor walked out, looked at me and said, "Go to the hospital. I will call them to tell them you are coming." She said I wouldn't stop throwing up until I was hydrated. This was my first run in with the hydrating IV. It was great. It made me so hungry and woke me right up! I wanted to ask if I could just take it with me. I didn't get to take it with me but I got to revisit it 4 weeks later. I was dehyrated again but didn't know it that time.

I was sick for another 5 weeks after that. All in all I lost 15 lbs in the first 18 weeks and ate pretty much nothing but plain chicken nuggets that whole time. I definately think that was a cleansing and prep for the weight gain to come.

Next up, discover of Gerd, ulcers, and a run in gestational diabetes.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Life after the worst loss of my life.

It began on October 16th 2009. That was the day I lost my twins. The worst day of my life. When someone loses a child, no matter what age or situation the mother is in, the only thing that should be said to her is: I'm sorry and I'm here. Instead, I heard everything from, "Now you can start a weight progam and get back in shape." To "If I had a kid at your age, I wouldn't be as good of a mom as I am now." To "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." All very very wrong things to say. To top it off, my sister miscarried three weeks later and everyones world crashed for her and everyone told her all the right things. Then again, she's in her 30's with a high degree, a very successful husband and it was her second child. She deserved her child and appearently I didn't.

At my follow up doctors appt. My doctor gave me birth control pills and told me not to start them until I had a cycle. Well, October 30th, My one year wedding anniversary, my husband had to work and so we didn't really get to celebrate. I really wanted to be with my husband that night, it was our anniversary and on our wedding night we had started Catholic Classes at church and so we didn't get to that night. So, I wanted one night to be the way its supposed to be. I hadn't started the birth control yet and we didn't have condoms because up until then the only birth control we had used was natural family planning. So when he came home that night, I seduced him anyway. I spent the next two weeks wondering what if and mourning the loss of my babies. It was time to go back to school after leave.

Monday morning, 4 weeks later I went to the doctor for my last blood drawing at the doctors office to make sure my levels weren't rising since they had gone down to 0 just before the 30th. I decided to take a home pregnancy test because I couldn't wait for the results from the doctor. I took the test at school and sure enough it was positive. I called my husband and told him. He couldn't believe it and neither could I. We knew that there was a slight chance it could just be left over tissue in my uterus due to me not having a d&c, so, I decided not to get excited until we heard from the doctor. The doctor called and said my levels were back up to 3000. That was very high and if I was pregnant again, a very good sign. So, we scheduled another blood drawing for 2 days later and sure enough, the level doubled. I went for the ultrasound where we saw our little seahorse and his beating heart.

We couldn't be more excited and nervous all at the same time. This was a slightly high risk prgnancy from day one, considering I I had gotten pregnant just 2 weeks after I miscarried.

Next to come.... 40 weeks of what else? Pregnancy!

The beinging. Pregnancy, hair and a miscarriage.

August 9th was the last LMP. September 6th, I took a home pregnancy test and there was 2 lines. I couldn't believe it. I went to the livingroom sat on the couch next to Robert and just starred at it. Robert asked what it said and I said, "There is 2 lines but I don't know what its supposed to have. I don't know what kind of test this is, I threw away the box." He looked at it, laughed and said, " I think its positive,babe." And kissed me. I imediately got on the internet to find the same test and photos of a positive result. Robert was laughing the whole time and telling me, "Babe, its possitive. You don't have to look it up."

I got off the net and made him take me to the store to get another one. That one was positive too. On Sept. 9th, we went went to planned parenthood and had it confirmed. I didn't have medically insurance so the same day, I took my result to DHS and signed up for Oregon Health plan. Also, we went to burlington baby depot to find a gift for my parents because, I had to tell them. The hardest thing I'd ever do, so I thought.

We went home, where we lived with my parents, and I walked up to my parents, who were sitting out by the pond, enjoying their evening and I handed my mom the present. She took it and asked me, "what is this? What's going on?" I said, " nothing. Just open it." She did and I was crying and she started to cry and said, " I knew it, I'm going to be a grandma." And she told my dad and she hugged me and my dad hugged me and we all sat down and my dad lectured us on how now was the time we really needed to get things in gear and get things going because we had someone else to provide for.

I felt relieved. I was feeling great. I went to school the next day and told everyone and they were all happy. I didn't have any morning sickness or anything. I just had an extreme craving for cheese quesadillas.

Weeks went by and I was still waiting on my health insurances so I could go to the docotor. Week 9 came and my insurance card finally came at the same time I started spotting. I knew I needed to go to the doctor. We went to urgent care that morning. The doctor at urgent care told me I needed to get checked at the hospital and so they wheeled me over in a chair to the ER. I knew something was wrong. The ER doctor came in, did a pelvic exam and said it looked like old blood and that my cervix was closed. He then did an ulrasound and said baby was in the right place but that he couldn't see a heartbeat and said it may be too early. We left and made a doctors appt.

The next day we went for another ultrsound. The tech scanned over the heart and zoomed in and out. I just looked at her and asked, "you don't see a beat, do you?" She said,"no, I'm so sorry." I tried my hardest not to cry and hold it together. I let a few tears leak out and when we got to the car, we both broke down and cried.

I knew I wanted to deliver my baby naturally at home. So, on Friday, the day I turned 10wks. I began feeling the worst cramps of my life. I knew this was it. I ran a bath and sent Robert for Mcdonalds because I was hungry. I got in the bath and got in and out and paced the floors in pain. I was more scared then anything and robert didn't know what to do so he ate. I couldn't. I tried. It didn't work. Finally the pain got so bad I told robert we need to go to ER. I got dressed and just then I felt an urge to push. I went back to the bathroom and laid foil in the toilet and sat. One little push and the pain was over. In the foil was a complete sac and inside was what I discovered was my lil baby twins. I had to take them to doctor and so I carefully scooped them up and put them in a plastic bag and starred at them the whole way. The little arms and feet and tiny little hands. I didn't want to give them away. But I had to. We got to the doctors and I gave them to robert and I went to the bathroom. I couldn't hand them over myself. I was crushed.

Next to come... life after the worst loss of my life.